Simple and Clean
by Gunner Kitten
Summary: A song fic for meh charrie and Spike.to understand it u prolly have to read meh " Life after a Lie" well in this one Spike doesn't die. He survives duh XD just read and review please!


**SONGFIC: SIMPLE AND CLEAN  
**  
**song by: Utada Hikaru (gives all credit ;)**  
  
Spike sits with his back against a tree trunk. He pulls a cigarette out of his jacket and lights it with a match. He just sighs and stares up at the silvery moon. The cigarette in his hand burns as he reflects on things that have happened. He thinks on the news that Julia is gone. His first love. The one he wanted. She's now dead. He remembers the one who told him. A young woman. Julia's younger step sister. Different, yet so alike. He just shakes his head, smiling, and continues staring at the moon.  
  
_When you walk away  
  
You don't hear me say please  
  
Oh baby, don't go  
  
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go  
_  
A young brown haired woman stares up at the same moon. Her eyes are misted with tears for those she is still waiting to return. She walks beside the edge of a night blackened pond. She reminisces about meeting him. Her pulse quickens as she thinks of the way he looked at her when she told him that Julia was gone. Her heart almost broke at the sight of a man who had seemed to have just lost everything he lived for. She regretted telling him. But the past is the past. You can't bring someone back after two and a half years. Though she still felt remorse for losing her sister, and telling the man her sister had loved that the one he loves will never return to his arms.  
  
_You're giving me too many things  
  
Lately you're all I need  
  
You smiled at me and said_  
  
He had hung onto the belief he would find her for so long. He realizes if he keeps telling himself that, it's a lie. He looks at the cliff over looking a small pond. He half smiles in remembering the brown haired woman, Kat, and his first bounty together. He winces as he relives the explosion that flung him out of a four story building. Kat screaming his name as he fell.  
He remembers dreaming of Kat and Julia. The dream relives his days with Julia. He realizes he never truly loved her. She never talked in a small talk conversation, her eyes always cloudy as if thinking of far greater things. Him not sure where her loyalties lay. Then her not running away from the Syndicate with him. Leaving him completely alone, without a word, without a care.  
The dream then turns to the bounty he went on with Kat. The way she complained about Swordfish and him being slow, though he could tell she was just playing. The way she couldn't look him in the eye when talking with him. The way she couldn't stop talking to him. He knew his feelings for Julia were holding him back, the one he wanted needed him to not feel any doubts for her. He remembered opening his eyes and seeing Kat sitting on the floor next to the couch, as if she was watching over him like a guardian angel without wings.  
  
_Don't get me wrong I love you  
  
But does that mean I have to meet your father?  
  
When we are older you'll understand  
  
What I meant when I said "No,  
  
I don't think life is quite that simple"  
_  
She remembers leaving after he woke up. She felt that if he followed her, she would truly know if those words were meant for her. She hoped beyond hoping that they were. She already knew she loved him, just by being with him and his friends.  
She continues walking around the pond, her head still plagued by thoughts of her reality. She didn't want to lose him. Not after losing everyone she loved before. Her father, Julia, Gren. She couldn't help feel a twinge of jealously for her older sister. Julia got everything, leaving her with next to nothing. Though she could never hate her for it. Nothing could drive her to hate someone unless they had truly damaged her heart. She just wants him to know she loves him.  
  
_When you walk away  
  
You don't hear me say please  
  
Oh baby, don't go  
  
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go_  
  
He remembers the stormy night he went after her. It hadn't started raining when he met her on the cliff top. Her eyes gazing across the dark, rippled surface of the small pond. He had almost left her alone, like Julia had done him. But something had kept him, even he couldn't explain what. He just waited until she told him. He then set aside all doubts. She was what he wanted. He then realized he wasn't truly searching for Julia for those three years, he was searching for Kat. Even though he didn't even know she existed.  
During the time it took him to realize his feelings for her, it had started raining. He then turned to walk away, the rain then seemed to come down even harder as he draped his jacket around her shoulders. When he reached the edge of the woods, he turned and told her his true feelings for her. He left her sitting on the cliff, not saying anything, and went back to the Bebop.  
  
_The daily things that keep us all busy  
  
Are confusing me  
  
That's when you came to me and said_  
  
She quickly saw how different he was from the others she had known. He always made her laugh, and always had a shoulder for her to cry on. He was there when she felt she had no one. At first she wasn't sure if he really loved her, but the first kiss made her doubts disappear. When he had to leave, to face his past. She would've gladly given up everything and gone with him. But he told her to stay home, so she reluctantly stayed. Her heart torn between risking everything for the one she loved and obeying his wish for her to remain safe. She chose to stay, he had told her goodbye. That was all she had asked for. And ending with a goodbye.  
  
_Wish I could prove I love you  
  
But does that mean I have to walk on water?  
  
When we are older you'll understand  
  
It's enough when I say so  
  
And maybe some things are that simple_  
  
He had faced his biggest rival, his meaning of hatred, Vicious. He lost a friend in the process of getting to the top of the building. As he fought Vicious he remembered thinking of no one. Not even her. The only thing he wanted was Vicious to be gone. To leave him alone, and he didn't care if he died as a result of it. How could he have been so stupid?  
He survived and came out with a deep gash across his chest. He made it out of the building and into the courtyard. There he collapsed face first onto the concrete. The Syndicate had thought he was dead and threw him in a back alley for the dogs. He crawled out of the alley and regained his feet a few blocks down. He stumbled to the place where he and Kat had confessed their love. And that's where he sat.  
  
_When you walk away  
  
You don't hear me say please  
  
Oh baby don't go  
  
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go  
_  
She had waited for him on the ship. But she couldn't stand staying in a place with so many memories. She thought, no she knew he was gone for good. She ran to the pond that was beneath the overlook they both knew so well. There she walked in circles trying to sort out everything that had happened. She didn't notice as her feet carried her into the woods and toward the overlook.  
  
_Hold me  
  
Whatever lies beyond this morning  
  
Is a little later on  
  
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all  
  
Nothing's like before  
  
_He heard footsteps rustling the leaves on the forest floor. He turned his head and saw her slowly walking through the woods. He then realized he was afraid to face her. He was angry at himself for pushing her to the back of his mind. He was angry at her for doubting he would return. He wanted to run, someplace where he could sort out everything before he faced her. But he didn't. She came walking into the small clearing. He was in the shadows watching as she made her way past him. He couldn't help notice the tears in her eyes, and feel guilty about them.  
  
_When you walk away  
  
You don't hear me say please  
  
Oh baby don't go  
  
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go  
_  
"I thought you were gone..."  
Her words startled him, he thought he was completely concealed in the shadows beneath the tree.  
  
"I thought I was too."  
Hearing his voice made her heart skip a few beats, though this time she just wanted to hug him and not let him go ever again.  
"I couldn't leave you alone."  
What is he thinking? Feeding her a lie? Hoping she'll believe it and come back to him.  
"I know you weren't thinking about me when you were fighting him."  
He winced at her words. His heart dropped, she had seen right through him.  
"I'm sorry."  
He just knew in his heart that an apology wouldn't make up for the way he had forgotten her, when it could've been his end.  
  
_Hold me  
  
Whatever lies beyond this morning  
  
Is a little later on  
  
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all  
  
Nothing's like before  
_  
Her breath caught in her throat as she looked back at him. The gash across his chest was still trickling blood, and her eyes were still trickling tears. She walked over next to him, sat down, and put her hand softly on his shoulder. He raised his head to look into her eyes. They told him everything was okay. She then put her arms around his neck and embraced him gently. She really did love him. Through all his doubts, he saw the pureness. His hand held a lock of her long hair, as they both sat together. Can true love stand the test of time? Will she ever trust him again? He'll never know.... she'll never know... you can't prove what you can't see... right?  
  
_Hold me  
  
Whatever lies beyond this morning  
  
Is a little later on  
  
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all  
  
Nothing's like before_


End file.
